To Far Gone
by XxCherriesandChocolatexX
Summary: He promised her everything, told her he would always be there. Now she was left with nothing but memories of what had once been. Dedicated to a friend.


**Me: Hey again everyone! I know this isn't usually the type of style I write with, but it's dedicated to a friend that is kind of going through the same thing. The reason I chose Leaf is because Gary is considered a player, and it seemed the most fitting choice. I love OldRivalShipping to death and it's killing me to write this, but it's killing my friend more. It's really sad to people this has happened to, and bloody hell I hope you never feel this kind of pain.**

She sat alone in her room, plagued by her own thoughts. The once bright and happy teen now an empty shell of what she used to be. The sun had gone down long ago, and there were no stars in the sky due to the city of lights that shone endlessly from the outside.

Every night she sat in silence, welcoming the darkness that overtook not only her room but now her very soul. Everything that was, everything that could have been now faded into nothing but memories.

Her once vibrant green eyes, so full of life and mystery, now broken and lifeless. The girls long chocolate brown hair left un-brushed and in tangled waves around her tear stained face. Why had he done it? Where had she gone wrong?

They told her it wasn't her fault, that he had nobody to blame but himself. That she shouldn't dwell in the past and to forget him. But she couldn't. Her thoughts were a one-way track that ran along one name; Gary Oak.

Even thinking his name had a heart wrenching effect on her. The soul crushing memories came flooding back without warning, consuming her once again.

He had told her he loved her, would never leave her. He promised her, kissed her and made her feel like nothing in the world could ever pull her down. She laughed bitterly, funny how the one thing that had ever made her feel that way was the one thing to cause this pain.

They had been happy together, and he seemed completely legit. She trusted him with everything she had, and he had thrown it all away. He used her for the one thing she would only ever give to him, and the moment he got it he was gone.

Gary had played her like a violin, strumming the same old tune until he was finished. And the week after he had broken her heart, she found out he used another girl. Although this girl was more willing, she didn't care what he did. She wanted the same thing as him, and there was no feeling involved.

Week after week, girl after girl Gary kept on playing them. Leaf would watch from afar, until she couldn't take it anymore. He didn't even know what he had done to her, what he still did to her. She blamed herself still, even though deep down she knew it wasn't blame for her to take.

Misty, May and Dawn had been there through it all with her, every last second. They came by almost every day to see how she was, to tell her they were here and understood what she was going through.

Leaf put on a smile and pretended like she could believe their words, but how could she? They had their boyfriends. Misty was with Ash, May with Drew and even Dawn had Paul. None of them could possibly understand the hurt she felt.

It got worse and worse as time passed. The black cloud constantly drifted above her head, and the moment she felt even the slightest bit of happiness the shadows that overran her mind filled her with angst once more.

She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep. The world barely ever saw her leave the house at all. Her teachers had long since given up hope that Leaf would attend classes, even her parents didn't try and persuade her to leave the room. Her only sanctuary. She was slowly fading away.

Leaf overlooked the city and up into the night sky. How ironic, she thought, that the stars would not be there. That all the lights were down below, so far out of reach. The pitch black sky should be filled with light, and much like her soul it wasn't. The light shined mockingly from far away, somewhere she would never be able to reach again.

Unable to take it anymore, she stood slowly and trudged over to her nightstand. A shaky, slim hand reached out to pull open a draw. Her swollen eyes scanned its contents and finally found what she was looking for.

She carefully picked it up, closing the draw. Leaf looked at herself in the mirror, and barely recognised what she saw. Reaching up with one hand to touch a cheek, the girl gasped at how bony it was. She was thin, very thin. The no longer happy face stared back in misery at what she had become, but she just couldn't break out of it.

As she brought her hand away, it knocked something off the shelf onto the floor.

_**CRASH!**_

Eyes widening at the sound, she bent over to pick it up. Tears welled up in them once again as they gazed over the object.

It was her and Gary, on their third anniversary. They had been so happy, that day he had given her a promise ring and told her that he would always be there.

One year later, that promised had been broken. Much like Leaf.

The salty water streaked down her face and she left the frame on the floor before making her way over to the bed. Sitting down once again, Leaf stared at the object in her hands.

A sharp blade, shining in the moonlight. Small traces of blood could be seen from previous uses, and her thoughts clouded over once more at the reasons of why each time it had been used.

She brought the blade to her wrist, and cut lightly at first, but then pressed harder. It wasn't enough to kill, only enough to bleed. She smiled at the familiar sight of blood making its way from her skin and down her hand, the stinging pain accompanying it.

Soon the sting went away, and an easing numbing feeling made its way into her body. It took all the pain away, she felt like she was in control. The blade now stained with fresh liquid left lying on her sheets.

The numbness was what she hated, yet craved. She needed it, thrived for it. Her last resort to remain partially sane so Leaf could still feel alive, even though she was anything but. Her other hand lifted to trace the scars of the past on her wrist, remembering how it had only started a few weeks before.

At first it wasn't so bad, there was no need to physically harm herself. But as time went on, it only become harder. Each and every day taking its toll on the young teen, each and every night filling her mind with dark thoughts and nightmares.

She would wake up screaming and calling out his name, only for one of her parents to rush in and comfort her while she cried herself to sleep over and over again.

Eventually thought, it wasn't enough. Leaf couldn't sleep, her mind taken over by images of him. After a while, she wouldn't eat. What she did manage to consume only made its way back up again after a short while anyway.

Not long after the depression followed, eating at her soul. Never forgiving, never ending. It was always there and she wasn't strong enough to stop it. Leaf no longer had the will to stop it.

8 months after the break up he came back, begging for forgiveness, telling her that what he did had been wrong. That he regretted everything and only needed one more chance. By that time, it was all Leaf could have dreamed of, everything she had hoped for was finally falling back into place.

But it was too late. He was too late. She knew it was nothing but the past now, something she would never go back to. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how it took everything in her to turn him away, Leaf was the one to close the door on him in the end.

There was nothing left to fight for. They had nothing to keep dreaming on.

They told her to keep strong, they tried to make her forget. But Leaf couldn't be helped. She refused to be helped. She had been completely taken over by the darkness and there was no way back. She was already too far gone.

**Wow glad that's over. The story is very closely based on what the boy did to her. This boy played her for 7 months and used her for the thing I'm sure you can guess but won't be mentioned. The day we got back from camp she was sick so she couldn't come to school and all through snack/lunch he was going on about how he was going to leave her tomorrow. Sure enough the next day, they were both single once again. Even though it is dedicated to her, I guess it is also for everyone who has been through something similar.**


End file.
